Redemption for a Lost Mother

August 2016



A visit with an unexpected turn

It's been five years since my husband and I visited our friends in the UK. Last time, they were only two (being just a couple), but now they are four, having been blessed with two children whom we were meeting now for the first time. The daughters were beautiful girls, each in very different ways. The older (4 years old) looked very much like mum with some oriental features, whilst the younger (18 months old) looked very much like dad with western features.

I commented on how beautiful and cute the girls were, to which the mother agreed, but then she backtracked to say how her older daughter had inherited an undesirable oriental feature. The mother pointed to a line going through the middle of the base of the older girl's nose, adding, "This line is not necessary". The little girl stood there quietly at the remark of her mother as she showed the line to me. My heart was in turmoil upon hearing this, knowing full well the effect that such a remark could have on a child. So I quickly spoke life into the older girl. I touched her little nose and told her how much I loved the line on it, and how I wished I had a line just like that on my nose. I then complimented how beautiful her eyes, ears and lips were also, and how I wished I had a little girl just like her.

My husband Rob and I gave them presents, and us being mere strangers to these girls did not hamper them from opening our presents with excitement! They loved the presents and warmed to us, and before long the older girl started to play with Rob with screams and laughter, whilst I sat with her mother watching on.

It was then that I took the opportunity to share with her all the things that I learnt from Elijah House School - particularly on the things concerning children. How, as children, we can easily judge our parents by the things they say and do. And in sowing such judgments, we can grow up to reap (to our detriment) what we have sown. So I began to explain the Biblical Law of Sowing and Reaping - which many of us have heard of, but never stopped to ponder just how SERIOUS this law is!



The Law of Sowing and Reaping:  Bitter Root Judgments & Expectancies

The law of sowing and reaping has been God's law from the very beginning. The law applies to believers as well as non-believers. God meant it for good - that if we would sow blessings into people's lives, we would reap blessings in return. Sadly for most of us, not only have we often used it for bad, but when we do, we are often unaware of it! We are quick to judge people in a bad way (sowing), not realising that what we judged them to be can come back to us (reaping) with interest! This is very much in line with what the Bible teaches and has warned us about:

Matthew 7:1-2
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

The longer we leave the sin of judging someone unrepented, the larger the reaping we will receive from it:

Hosea 8:7a
“They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind."

The judgments we made at a very young age can be so easily forgotten over the years, that as we grow up, we are often puzzled by the many life problems that we seem to have, not realising that we are reaping the consequences of the judgments we have made years, or even decades, earlier.

The consequences may come in two ways:
  • We can either become (or do) the very thing we had judged someone to be;
    - and/or -
  • We draw unto ourselves people who would do (or be) the judgments that we had made. 
A quick example of this would be:

If a father beats up his daughter and she judges him to be a violent father, she could grow up to be an aggressive person herself and / or she would draw unto herself men who would beat her up also. Despite her assessment of her father being correct, if there is any criticism, resentment, unforgiveness, bitterness, anger or hatred, etc. in her heart against her father for what he did to her, her assessment of him becomes a judgment, also known as "bitter root judgment". Further to this, if she generalises her judgment of her father to be applicable to all men, this becomes an expectancy, unsurprisingly known as "bitter root expectancy". Whenever she would develop a relationship with a man, she would "expect" him to beat her up, and in time - he would, even if he had not intended to.

The longer the sin of judgment remains unrepented, the bigger the reaping grows. In the example above, the woman may experience more severe violence inflicted upon her by her spouse / boyfriends than what she may have received from her father earlier in life. Her life will continue in this way until she realises the root cause of this problem, repent from her sin of having judged her father, and ask the Lord Jesus to take the reaping from her.

This law applies to all judgments we make, not only against our parents, but also against our friends, colleagues, children, enemies, other members of our families, strangers, other drivers on the road, etc.

The upshot of this is that there are many people who are constantly fighting problems they do not know the root causes for. They are puzzled when such problems seem to recur or worsen. The truth of these things is overlooked by most Bible-reading Christians who have never contemplated on the seriousness of the Law of Sowing and Reaping, never mind by the World who are even less familiar with the Bible.

The Law of Sowing and Reaping is a law of God that must always be fulfilled no matter what (just like the Law of Gravity). In order for us to avoid the reaping, we need to repent of the judgments we made and put them to death on the Cross of Jesus Christ, so that Jesus can reap all the sowing we have done - thus fulfilling the law on our behalf. Amazing as this is, this does not even begin to scratch the surface of everything else Jesus had accomplished on the Cross. It's another revelation of His grace, love and mercy for us all.

Matthew 5:17 
Jesus said, "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them."




A Seed Sown

Highlighting her earlier criticism of the line on her daughter's nose, I pointed out to the mother that her daughter could have already judged her as being a critical mother. The consequence of this for her daughter could be that she would grow up to be a critical mother to her own children, and/or that she would draw people who would criticise her (such as her future husband, friends, teachers, etc). This was only one judgment. Her daughter may have made many others, and the consequences to her life may already be immeasurable.

The realisation of this truth drew the mother into a pensive silence, her mind ticking, thinking over what I had just shared. Then she admitted further that she had been easily angered by her older daughter who was sometimes difficult to manage. With impatience, she had rejected her daughter numerous times, telling her to go to her father and to leave her alone so she could tend to the younger sister. The mother recognised then that she had been favouring the younger girl over the older, because the younger girl was easier to look after, but subconsciously it could also be because the younger girl had no "undesirable" features. It was clear now to the mother that she had discriminated against her older daughter and rejected her, which was the opposite to how she had been towards the younger daughter.

I then continued to share how a fetus could be affected by what happened to the child before. If the child before had died from a miscarriage or an abortion or a still birth, then it would place extra stress on the current fetus to survive. This was a shocking revelation to her as this information was relevant to her older daughter. Indeed, two babies before her had died from miscarriages, and before that another was aborted. No wonder her older daughter was always seeking to make it, seeking to impress mummy, only to be told to go away to Papa.

The mother sat looking sorry for her older daughter. She hadn't realised all these things, no one had ever told her anything like this. How could she ever stand a chance of being a good mother? She looked at me, thanked me for enlightening her, and told me that all the things that I had told her were very timely! Her relationship with her older daughter was spiraling down. She had felt so overwhelmed by the demands and responsibility of motherhood that she consequently rejected and discriminated against her older daughter.

The mother watched her older daughter still laughing uncontrollably as Rob played with her. She had never seen her daughter so happy like that. She longed for her daughter to laugh like that with her, but this has not happened in a long time.

The evening came to an end, and it was time to go home. We were expecting just to eat dinner together and catch up, all that constitutes a normal visit, but it would appear that the Holy Spirit had a different agenda. A seed had been sown in the mother's heart and mind which, unbeknownst to us, would grow rapidly over that very night!



An Unexpected Sharing of the Gospel

We returned the next day to eat supper together again as this would be our last night visiting them. After an evening of play with the children, Rob and I asked the parents if we could tuck the children into bed and tell them a bedtime story, to which they agreed.

As the two children and their parents sat and listened, I told the story of how Jesus fed 5000 people with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish; how the miracle of multiplication was evoked by Jesus giving thanks for the bread and fish. I then encouraged and inspired them to do the same: to give thanks at every meal. We closed the evening with a short prayer. I asked the older daughter to repeat the prayer after me - which she did so wonderfully, pronouncing every word perfectly. I felt warmth in my heart as the Holy Spirit within me was thrilled to hear her little voice saying the prayer.

And so as the children slept, Rob and I had some time with the parents. We shared with them our ministry of Inner Healing and Deliverance. I asked the mother if she wanted to take the opportunity for some inner healing whilst we were there with them. To my surprise, she began to tell the story of her childhood -- and before long, tears were flowing from her eyes. She began to unload years of hurt, of disappointment, of oppression... of hiding her imperfections and faking perfection for the eyes of the World. She told of how her mind was racing last night (after my sharing on the Law of Sowing and Reaping) and how it had enabled her to identify the judgments she had made against her own parents - which were now coming back round to her! She had judged her mother to be a very critical person with high expectations, and now she herself had become very critical towards her own daughter, with similarly high expectations to being the perfect child, perfect in looks and behaviour.

As the tears flowed, we could see her desperation for a solution to the mess in her life. So I asked her if she was willing to listen to the healing and the solution that I had for her. She nodded, ready to listen. It was then that I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ.......

After listening for some time, we focused back on the mother's issues. I told her that for healing to occur and for her life to change (totally change), she needed to repent of her sins, of the judgments she had made on her mother (and father too). And that the only One that could forgive her sins and wash her clean was Jesus Christ Himself. And for Jesus to take away her sins, she would have to accept Him as her Saviour and respond to the Gospel. I asked if she wanted to respond and accept Him into her life?

Without a moment of hesitation, she nodded and said, "Yes". I could barely believe my eyes and ears! I was dazed and amazed at what was happening right in front of me. Holy Spirit had been working in her all night and working rapidly! (seeing as we were only there 2 days and 2 nights). I could never have expected this to happen - we had shared Jesus with them all the years we lived in the same area before moving to NZ (many years ago now), but they had never shown any interest! But now, a totally different story - now her heart was responding to Jesus. Hallelujah!!! So I led her in a prayer of Salvation and then proceeded to help her pray for her repentance.

After the prayers were all said and done, she exclaimed how light she felt, as if all the burdens had been lifted off her shoulders. I smiled at her and said that that was the sign that her sins have been forgiven, that Jesus had taken them all off her. She could hardly believe her new found life of freedom. She thanked both Rob and I before we left. We agreed to spend the next day with them until the afternoon when we would have to make our way back to London.

As Rob and I drove back to our hotel, we were stunned at what just happened tonight. For sure, a party was going on right then in heaven - all the angels rejoicing over one sinner who repents and accepts Jesus Christ (Luke 15: 7,10).  She was evidently ripe and ready, the very harvest Jesus was talking about in the Bible for which the workers are few! (Matthew 9:37, Luke 10:2). I felt suddenly humbled that the Holy Spirit should use Rob and I as instruments to help this mother and lead her to Christ. It was indeed a privilege to be in the harvest field and to be workers for the Lord. Praise be to our Triune God - for Father God to be drawing her to Him, for the Lord Jesus to atone for her sins, to take off her burdens and to take all her reapings, and for the Holy Spirit to move her heart to repentance and acceptance of Jesus Christ. It was an amazing night that I would never forget! Thank you Lord!




A Day of Inner Healing and Deliverance

The next day was our very last day seeing them before we had to head back. We knew we needed to pray for the family before leaving, but we were not sure if we were going to do any deliverance. As usual, however, the Holy Spirit made a way to do so. The father offered to take both girls with him to the office where he worked (he has his own business), but the mother was concerned that the younger daughter would not last long with her father as she normally needed breastfeeding every hour. Still, she placed her in his care, trusting that all would be well.

And so we spent the next 5 hours in further inner healing and deliverance, during which time 39 evil spirits were cast out of the mother. Interestingly, the Spirit of Favouritism was among them, she said that it tasted sweet in her mouth as she vomited it out. This was the spirit responsible for her favouring the younger girl over the older one. Another interesting spirit was the Spirit of Tradition and Culture which was responsible for making her feel inadequate as a person, making her hide all her imperfections and making her fake perfections for the eyes of the World.

The mother was stunned at the manifestations of the evil spirits that were inside her body. She could not believe that, at one time, her voice went so deep like a man's voice, nor could she believe the slime and foam that were being vomited out of her body. The Spirit of Hatred in particular gave the biggest amount of slime and foam when it left her. More of a surprise still - she actually felt no hatred at all, seconds after it left her. She had never experienced this kind of immediate change in her heart before! At the end of it all, she felt light, feeling love and peace in her heart beyond belief!

"How could this be? This is better than counselling or going to a doctor", she questioned, to which I replied,
"It is the power of Jesus Christ and the freedom that only He can bring. No other god can give you what He has just given you..."

Her countenance became so bright and her eyes sparkled. The stress and the wrinkles that were once on her face were now gone. She has been given a new lease of life, both 
physically and spiritually.


We rang the father to let him know that the session was now over and that he could come home with the children. We were wondering how he had gotten on with the younger daughter. When he came home a short while later, she was fast asleep in the pram. In fact, she had been asleep for most of the day and did not complain for lack of milk or give any trouble at all - the first time ever and unheard of!

As he arrived with the children, the mother noticed a huge difference in her heart: she felt love for her older daughter, more than ever before! (No more hatred, no more rejection! Those evil spirits are gone!). She hugged her older daughter, kissed her, and told her how much she loved her. I then suggested to the mother that she apologise to her daughter - she did so immediately saying how sorry she was to have been an angry mother, and that from now on she will spend more time playing with her. Her daughter responded with a smile and a hug back suggesting immediately that they could play together right then and there...! Laughter all around... :)

I was close to tears watching the beautiful moment of reconciliation between mother and daughter! How good is our Triune God that He should heal and rescue families in the way He does. I knew that healing the mother and freeing her from all the evil spirits inside her would have had an impact on her daughter too (an impact in the spiritual realm - where chains are broken and her life set free too!).

Suddenly, in a worried tone of voice, the father asked where we were parked and whether or not we had been to check our car. He went on to say that the parking time limit around his street was only two hours and that the traffic wardens were known to be merciless. To our surprise, there was not a single ticket on our car, and we had been parked there for almost 6 hours!

With the younger daughter being no trouble all day and our car not getting a parking ticket, we knew it was all God's orchestration and favour so that deliverance could take place for the mother. Hallelujah! All the glory to God!



A New Life

It was gutting for us to have to leave them. We could do nothing more than what we had already done. We had no choice but to trust in the Lord Jesus and in the Holy Spirit that they would take care of them and that the mother would be able to keep her deliverance. I advised them to join a church and a Bible study (or Alpha course) so that they could get some spiritual support. In my heart of hearts, I knew that God would take care of them, just by the fact that God had orchestrated the whole scenario - for salvation for the mother, and for her inner healing and deliverance to take place during our visit.

We continue to be in touch with them online, and we send what we can by email. Seven weeks after leaving them, I received the following email from the mother (I have replaced the daughters' names with the words "daughters" or "older daughter" in order to protect their privacy & identity):

Hi Elma

Thank you so much thinking about us !
I'm so grateful your support !

Today, I went to a Bible study.
It was so amazing ! I think there was Holy Spirit! I felt so warm and learnt so many things!
Nice people and explain really well about Bible. I'll go every week!!

Since I pray to God Jesus, I haven't been angry and shout at my older daughter! This is my new record because Jesus helping me and always make me stop to think and calm...

I love both of my daughters so much now and the older one often give me big smile and talk a lot. She didn't talk much before...

I feel v happy at the moment.
Thank you so much Elma!
I really feel that I wish you were here...
we could be together and talk...

Thanks again all your support!
I hope you and Rob doing well!

What a wonderful email to read that their lives are changing for the better - not only for the mother,  but for the older daughter as well. In fact, the whole family would benefit from the mother's transformation because she is now becoming the wonderful mother God wanted her to be. I pray for the Lord to keep them and to move them forever close to Him. All glory and honour be to our Triune God!