Spiritual Rebellion

September 2017


Spiritual Rebellion Explained

Most of us have rebelled against our parents at some point in our lives. Their ideas of what is best for us seemed to conflict with ours, and so we rebelled against them, rejecting their ideas, often dishonouring them in the process.

"Spiritual Rebellion" is similar in nature. It is when we reject God's best for us, such as: our family, our job, our gender, our physical appearance, etc. In being unhappy about these things, we are often angry at God and we blame Him for who we are, what we look like, what we have, and where we are at in life. We wish differently to what God has given us, and we act in disobedience, often going outside the safe boundaries that God has placed around us. 

Additionally, in our rebellious attitude towards God, we often inflict trauma on our physical bodies without realising it.



My List of Spiritual Rebellion and Trauma

As I looked closely at my life, it occurred to me that I had indeed rebelled against God numerous times over the years without realising it. And to that end, I had also inflicted trauma onto myself. Some of the things I had done were commonly done by others that I knew, but were also done out of ignorance (mostly in my youth). Here are some of those things:
  • As I was growing up, being of Asian heritage and being socially taught that the Western features were more desirable, I became unhappy with the bridge of my nose being flat. So at the age of 14, I slept with a clothes peg pinching the bridge of my nose, hoping that it would encourage a more prominent bridge to form. Of course it didn't work - instead I had a red mark in between my eyes for days, much to the curiosity of my school friends! LOL... This useless exercise had inflicted trauma to my nose and skin.
  • I was introduced to Heavy Metal music by friends in college. It was bad enough that this form of music was (and is) mostly satanic, but I also spent every weekend for around six years headbanging to it with my friends, causing trauma to my brain and neck.
  • The popular hairstyle for Heavy Metal music was (and still is) long and curly. Unfortunately, being Asian, my natural hair was straight. So I would perm it every few months to achieve the curls. And in wanting to look cool and different, I would also venture to dye and colour it. These actions caused trauma to my scalp through the chemicals that were present in those hair products. And as a result I lost a lot of my healthy hair. Although I am no way bald, my hair is thinner compared to what it used to be, especially around the top of my head.
  • When I went to Greece for a holiday, I went mad on sunbathing. I was not satisfied with my already naturally-tanned skin, I wanted to do what the Westerners did to darken their skin. So I sunbathed without any protective lotion and went the darkest I could ever be (see photo). By doing this, my skin was inflicted with trauma from excessive sun.
  • In those days (and still even now), high heels were popular and desirable, and so I wore them all the time to the detriment of my feet. Although I do not have bunions, my feet experienced trauma from the stress of constant tiptoe caused by high heels.
  • In addition, since my mother had compared my feet to my father's feet, calling them flat, I had also come to hate them.
  • In being with the wrong crowd at University, I smoked and drank for several years. This caused chemical trauma to my lungs and liver in my body. By God's grace, I am no longer doing these things!
  • I was in a destructive relationship (not God matched) in which my boyfriend at that time treated me badly through both physical and emotional abuse. The physical abuse brought trauma to the back of my head, shoulders and arms, whilst the emotional abuse left me hating myself. He was partial to girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, making me feel inadequate being dark-haired and brown-eyed.
  • Over a period of 10 years, I underwent half a dozen operations to my womb due to endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroid tumours. Although this was necessary to my health, my womb experienced trauma at each and every operation through being inspected, cut, stitched, etc. (Incidentally, operations of any kind and any level do bring varying degrees of trauma to the body).

As you can see, in trying to change my appearance (hair, skin, nose, etc.) and wishing I was blonde, I was basically unhappy with the way God had made me. This is the same as insulting God to say that He did not do a good job making me!

In being with the wrong crowd and in the wrong relationship, I came to disrespect the body God gave me and to let others do the same. So not only was I unhappy with it, I was also treating it badly!

The above list shows only some of the many different ways in which a person can spiritually rebel against God. Not wanting to live, attempting suicide or just having death wishes (even asking Jesus to take us home) are severe forms of spiritual rebellion against God -- due to the rejection and ungrateful nature in attitude towards the life He has given. And many of us have been through such times and have had such thoughts, and thus guilty of spiritual rebellion. Unfortunately, spiritual rebellion can block so much of the blessings that God has for us.

And so now, as I come to realise my sin of spiritual rebellion against God, I repented of all of the above, asking the Lord Jesus to draw out the trauma to His Cross and to remove it from my body. I also asked Him to restore me to His original design (and undo the design changes I had tried to do to myself). To my surprise, I received a physical healing that I would never have expected in a million years!!!


Healing


For over 22 years, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, adenomyosis and fibroid tumours in the womb (as mentioned above). Those ladies out there who suffer from the same condition know only too well that the menstruation period is not only prolonged, but also involves excruciating and debilitating pain that keeps one bed-bound and unable to lead a normal life. Only the strongest of prescription painkillers can dampen the pain, if only for a short few hours. The blood is often voluminous, dark and full of clots. Standing up is unthinkable, never mind walking or doing any form of activity.

Well soon after my repentance, I noticed that I had skipped a month of period. How could this be? This has never happened to me before! Then when it arrived the following month, I noticed NO PAIN! The blood was fresh without any clots, and just the right amount. It lasted only for four days, and by day seven I was all clean and finished! The nature and characteristics of my period is now just how it used to be when I was a young girl. It was painless and quick!

I thought at first that perhaps it was just a one-off (even though I had not had even one good month in all 22 years). It is now 6 months down the road, and it is still all good! In fact, I was well enough to stand all day doing deliverance, casting out 100+ demons out of someone whilst having my period. This is just incredible, I could never have done anything like this before -- my life has totally changed!

In addition, I have noticed that the volume of my hair is slowly increasing, especially round the top of my head where it was previously thinning. Not forgetting to mention that I have now come to appreciate myself and are extremely happy with how God has made me. I am able to see myself through God's eyes -- how He has wonderfully and fearfully made me, as the Bible says. 

I know this is the start of a string of healing miracles for me in my life. I have other physical healings that are too private to mention here, but they are equally life changing and mind blowing and shows the love and mercy of God. I now want God's best for me, and am grateful to Him for all that He has given me, and all that He will give me.

How merciful is our Father God -- that even after all that we have done to ruin ourselves and our lives, He still comes to rescue us, to love us back to life and to physical healing. All the glory and honour to our Father God, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit!

My hope is that others will endeavour to try this same road -- of looking at ways in which they may have spiritually rebelled against God and putting themselves through trauma -- that in addressing it with the help of the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ, they too may experience abundant blessings and miraculous healing, just as I did.

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.