A Sad Prospect

This week I just heard the fantastic news that my sister-in-law is getting married next year. I am very happy for her & for the family, but a strange thought suddenly came into my mind, "Ah this will mean she will have children, and my parents-in-law will be very happy to be grandparents finally!". This supposedly happy thought somehow saddened me.

You have to understand that my husband and I have been told we cannot have children (we have 0% chance), and I have had the painful experience of seeing my sisters-in-law (from my side of the family) have children successfully, and also witnessed my own mother's joy of being a grandmother who now no longer have the need to have grandchildren from me.

It has always saddened me that we have not been able to make my parents-in-law dream of becoming grandparents come true, yet at the same time I have been comforted in the knowledge that they share in our suffering (at least I have felt that my husband and I are not alone in this pain). But the thought of this potentially changing (that we would suddenly suffer on our own) became daunting.

So, as I went to bed that night alone (as my husband was yet again on a business trip), I began to pour my heart out to God and told Him all my fears. I picked up my baptism stone which was always on my bedside table, and began to look at it.

A Message to Trust

My baptism stone is awesome, it was found by my father in-law at the exact time of my baptism. Amongst the many amazing markings on it, there is an imprint of a baby footprint which, when turned upside down shows a silhouette of a lady holding a baby. This stone has comforted me since it was found in 2006 in the knowledge that God knows and cares about my childless problem. God has also, during this time, showed me 9 Biblical scriptures specifically related to the stone.

So, as I pondered on the stone, I began to notice what seems to be a few letters inscribed on the baby footprint. I looked at it and looked at it when suddenly the word "JUST" leapt up at me. I thought I was imagining things! So, I looked away for a moment and looked at it again, and the word leapt up at me again; this time much clearer than the first time. And as I repeated the process again and again, the word became clearer and clearer, until I no longer doubted what I saw - it really says "JUST". This puzzled me - JUST? What is God trying to say to me?? I thought to myself that I would look up the dictionary meaning of this word in the morning and search all Bible references with the word "JUST".

So, the next morning I did just that, but I had so many Bible references and so many meanings from the dictionary that I didn't feel I got the answer I needed. So, I emailed my husband and told him what I saw. I asked him to tell me the first thing that came into his mind when he hears the word "JUST", and he replied saying "JUST WAIT & SEE". I thought that sounded plausible, but I needed something more from God, I needed His confirmation on this if indeed this is what He was trying to say to me.

Just then I looked at the stone again - and right before my eyes - the word JUST seemed to re-arrange itself to the word "TRUST". It felt like my eyes were opened and a revelation came upon me, God was saying "JUST TRUST"!!!

The "J" had turned into a "T" and the "u" had a thicker inner line which transformed it into an "ru". I was amazed on how clever God is! It is one word, but it flips into 2 similar powerful words! Very clever indeed, and just amazing!

It is also amazing that these words are inscribed on the lump that make up the arm of the lady holding the baby. Without the lump (arm), the silhouette would just be of a lady (and not of a lady holding a baby). So, I felt that the JUST TRUST message is very much connected to "holding a baby".

Here are some photos of the JUST TRUST message on the stone. I have tried superimposing the writing of JUST and TRUST on the photos to help you see:

I was blown away, I realized that He is re-assuring me from all my fears by asking me to "JUST TRUST" Him. I felt a peace and joy that I could not explain. The joy was so immense that it was painful (a good pain) and I felt it so deep within my heart (the deepest it has ever been). It made me shout praises with tears of joy to the point that I began to question myself why was I so happy? Then I realised it was not the promise / prospect of having a baby, but it was because God had spoken to me and dispelled my fears. God's friendship with me is far more valuable to me than anything on earth, even a baby. It was also the first time that God has shown me something on the stone, all the other markings (the Heart, the Cross, the Baby Footprint, the Lady holding a baby, the Pigeon Poo) were detected by other people before I even laid eyes on the stone.

The stone has been with me for 4 years now, yet the JUST TRUST message had not been revealed to me until now - until I needed it! This makes me wonder what other things on the stone are there that I am yet to see? For sure they will be hidden from me until such time as I need them in this journey. It is mind blowing, however, that God had inscribed these words before the stone was even found because He can see the future, He can see what my needs will be and what my journey will be like. He is therefore definitely to be TRUSTED.

See also my testimony on "A Logo from God" where God showed the same lettering design trait. He is just truly amazing!

© Elma Larsen. All rights reserved.

© Photos by Elma Larsen. All rights reserved.