Turning to God
I had just turned 19. I had also just failed my first-year exams at university - a situation which left me feeling depressed, particularly as the whole world was looking down at me, treating me like I was the dumbest person in the world - my parents, my lecturers, my friends and my boyfriend then (who subsequently left me). I knew I was capable, but I had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd - which took focus away from my studies.
I had no one to turn to, but God. God had only been an idea in my head or someone whom I have often learnt about when I was younger, but whom I have also often ignored and dismissed. This time, though, I decided to search for Him and to turn to Him for help. I heard that He was a God that loves and even a God that loves me.
So I gave my heart to Him, somehow! I remembered that day, I was suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit. An immense joy that I could not explain came over me. I could not walk normally; I would skip and leap everywhere I went. I would jump up and down the stairs, constantly smiling saying, "Hallelujah" to everyone who passed by. I joined the University Christian union and started to learn more about God. I would often talk to God in my heart.
A Love Story
One summer's evening, I was walking to church with a group of friends from the Christian Union. There were 7 of us. As we walked together, I started to talk to God again in my heart. I asked Him, "God, do you love me? If you do, please give me a sign". Remember I was merely a baby Christian, I would often ask God for signs. I thought long and hard about what sign I could possibly ask for.
Ahead of us was a railway bridge, under which lived numerous pigeons whose droppings would scatter the area beneath, where we would be passing. I walked under there everyday to get to my lectures and never once have I ever been dropped on. So, I decided to ask God for a pigeon dropping to fall on me as a sign to prove His love to me. A few seconds later, my mind came to reason with me saying,
"Firstly, do not test the Lord your God! Of course, He loves you! Secondly, if a pigeon dropping falls on you, you will be dirty and smelly for church this evening. You really wouldn't want that!"
So, I changed my mind and said to God exactly what my thoughts were saying to me. No sooner had I changed my mind, a pigeon dropping fell so close to me that it touched the very fine hairs on my arm (and I can tell you that God would have had to aim very accurately for me to miss the dropping and yet for me to be able to still feel it - because the hairs on my arm are so fine, they barely exist!). Then I heard God laughing as if to say that it was just as well I changed my mind or else He would have truly done what I had asked for and I would indeed have been dropped on. But more importantly, God wasn't just about to call my bluff, He really did want to show me He loves me.
Joy came over me - that same immense joy that I felt when the Holy Spirit came into my heart. I laughed with God, we were both laughing! My friends looked at me strangely, but I couldn't explain what just happened to me, it almost seemed as if they just wouldn't have understood me. So, I just smiled at them, but continued to laugh with God in my heart all the way to church feeling really really happy inside. Never has a pigeon poo meant so much to me :-)
© Image by Elma Larsen. All rights reserved.
© Elma Larsen. All rights reserved.